My Maslow Triangle is F*d
A deep dive level by level to learn and find my structural weakness
Hi human and welcome to this week’s lesson.
I’ve known about Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs for a few years. If you asked me what the levels were, I couldn’t tell you. I probably wouldn’t have even been able to correctly say how many levels there are… there are eight. So really, I had an awareness about it but it was shallow at best.
In a conversation with a friend about my current feelings of “being stuck”, in a pit of helplessness, and having difficulty being creative to produce TLH interviews/episodes they mentioned Maslow. So… I’ve done some research and self-reflection.
The Mighty Mas
Maslow, an American psychologist, in 1954 proposed that human beings possess two sets of needs in a five-stage model - layered one on top of each other like a pyramid. Then through the 60s -80’s he expanded this to eight stages. The first four levels are referred to as deficiency or physiological needs and the top four levels as growth or being needs.
While I was able to identify my issue from the five-level model, I found more lessons in learning the eight and if I’m going to learn something - I want the whole thing. Not going for a shallow understanding on this one- ready to deep dive?
Physiological/Deficiency Needs
The first level is our physiological needs, our basic/primal requirements for survival - breathing, food, water, shelter, clothing, warmth, sex, sleep… get it? Without these, we cease to exist so it makes sense they are first. Deficiency needs arise due to deprivation and become our baseline motivation - the longer someone goes hungry the more pressing finding food becomes. Hangry is real for a reason.
I am healthy, breathing, warm, eating, and clothed, I have shelter, and I am choosing to be single and abstain from sex. The means to some of these needs being met are not my ideal - living with family - but they are met so I must move up the pyramid to locate the source of my trouble.
Safety/Security Needs
As I got to level two in my research the lightbulb went off. This is where my pyramid gets crumbly. Yea, that’s right - not even a fourth of the way up, and my shit cracks. Level two is all about our safety and security needs - employment, income, emotional security, property safety, freedom from fear, order, and predictability.
A year ago I moved out of NYC and turned down my real estate business to take time to breathe and find a remote job so I could focus on the learning human, which is my passion and purpose. I have worked a few sales jobs but I am currently unemployed and haven’t found what I’m looking for. I do not have income or predictability and this causes a lack of freedom from fear and emotional security. It’s fucking stressful but I made these changes in the belief of something more.
Belonging & Love Needs
Level three refers to a human need for interpersonal relationships, connectedness, and being part of a group - friendship, intimacy, acceptance, receiving and giving affection, and love.
I am blessed with an incredibly supportive and caring family and beautiful friendships that I cherish. My initial conclusion was that I’m solid on this level but as I’ve reflected on, that is not the case. Yes, I’m grateful for this time living with family and yes, my friendships are stronger than ever before but I now see that I’m not as present as I used to be in these interactions because of an underlying stress - a persistent thinking of all of the creative avenues to create but lacking the ability to do so. Worse more, I feel like I’m not my full self - less happiness, joy, and ease because…
Esteem Needs
… my self-worth, self-respect, and sense of accomplishment are low. Maslow identified two categories of Esteem Needs: 1) esteem for oneself (dignity, achievement, mastery, independence) and 2) the desire for reputation and respect from others. This level represents the sense of value achieved through a profession or recognition from a hobby.
I found success as an actor/writer/producer for 10 years, as a real estate professional for 14 years, and as an entrepreneur. I had all of the categories of esteem needs covered.
From doing this research, I am only now aware of how much-changing career paths and my struggle to find income that supports TLH has affected me. TLH is my profession and hobby but my low self-esteem and the lack of safety/security are limiting my ability to move forward on it. Truth be told, I think I’m at a point where no type of career success would satisfy my esteem needs - it has to come from TLH.
Cognitive Needs
Maslow’s fifth level of needs deals with curiosity, exploration, knowledge, understanding, and a need for meaning.
Well, let me tell you… I got this one! In the space I have created in my life, curiosity, and exploration have taken over. I spend the majority of my free time learning new skills, and businesses, or researching topics like this. In addition to that, the question that occupies my mind most often is, what is the meaning of ___? This is what TLH is! I have countless ideas for videos but I am not creating the content. Well, at least I have a backlog of content to create.
Aesthetic Needs
The sixth level is appreciation and search for beauty, balance, and form.
At first, this level eluded me. It didn’t make sense to my life. As I sat with it, I realized that the thing I love most about living with family in CT is that I'm surrounded by nature. When I have to drive to town for something, I always go to the backroads that twist and wind through the woods and the soccer fields I grew up on. I used to only drive this way if necessary but now it’s just the path I take even if it’s out of my way.
I have always been drawn to nature - I have a sleeve tattoo of it. To me, nature represents beauty, balance, and form so right now, it seems to fully encapsulate my sixth-level need. Anddd that’s all I got for this level for now…
Self Actualization
Of all the levels, this is my biggest need! Level seven is realizing your personal potential, self-fulfillment, personal growth, and peak experiences.
This is my holy grail - my destination - my passion. A life fully realized and lived. To fully experience this journey we have!
And I’m not. I’m stuck in my head, in inaction, in helplessness, in despair (not to be dramatic).
Transcendence
The top level is to transcend - to be motivated by values beyond the personal self. This is my ultimate goal - to be fully self-actualized so I can transcend my own needs and be for everyone else.
Lessons Learned:
I don’t prioritize work. Family, friends, creative expression, and experiences have always been my top priority. I think that is important but through this exercise and the reflection of my last year, I clearly see work and income have to be important because it’s what provides safety, security, and esteem for me to be the best version of myself and be able to focus on other things. Time to find a fuckin job.
I have a tattoo of a triangle on my collar bone that an ex drew to symbolize building a strong foundation. The adage was, that we had built a foundation of communication, trust, openness, intimacy, and respect - those were the lower levels. The top levels were more in the fun category. A relationship built on just fun will topple over. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is the same. To keep climbing the ladder towards self-actualization and transcendence, each level must be secure, or the whole pyramid crumbles.
I have been putting the cart before the horse. I am putting creativity and self-actualization before my safety needs and this is why I am having such a hard time accomplishing my higher goals. For me to build TLH into my vision, I first need to find safety and stability through a job.
A Call for Self-Analysis
Analyze your life level by level. See where the cracks are. Keep in mind that:
we go up and down the levels many times through life as our situations change and grow
needs must be more or less met - meaning, it’s not an all-or-nothing approach
the order is not rigid but flexible based on external circumstances and individual preferences
most behavior is motivated by multiple basic needs
*Maslow did a lot of research on self-actualized people and distilled it into characteristics. It’s a topic that deserves its own deep dive.
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